A SURRENDER
SELF-
EXPERIMENT

HIRING A NEW CEO

SEP 4, 2019

1 . THE LOVE OF MY MIND

Breaking Patterns – is not just the name of my new project but also my lifestyle. I am constantly scouting patterns that come from conditionings but that don’t make real sense and find ways how to transform them into more helpful ones.

Right now I am onto a big one: 
the pattern of identifying with my mind.

This is something I am working on for a long long time but I just loved my mind so much that I could never really let go of it. It’s creative and pro-active, likes to analyze, plan and strategize. Whenever there is a problem, my mind gets excited and immediately produces tons of creative solutions or out of the box ideas.

But at the same time, it can be very tiring to follow my mind’s wishes and needs. As soon as I reach a goal, there is a next one for sure. It’s just never enough. And it’s not only creative but also very critical. VERY critical. I’m more afraid of my inner critic than of outer criticism.

Maybe we all are.

2 . THE FIRST STEP OUT

In the last years, my step out of it was to meditate and follow thought leaders like Joe Dispenza. All of them come from the corner of the „Law of attraction“ and talk about manifesting effortlessly. This idea really spoke to me because I love being in the flow and at the same time I enjoy imagining the future. And it kind of makes sense:

1.) You get into a state of accepting what is

2.) You set a clear intention or goal without defining how to get there

3.) You combine it with an elevated emotion, which means that you think about your intention, pretend as if it already happened and thereby raise your vibration to the frequency of what you want to attract. You are basically bringing the future to the now.

4.) You let go of it and let yourself be surprised by life playing its role in the realization of your plan.

It works extremely well and I love the unexpected ways that arise when you let go of the ‘how’.

As soon as you reach a goal, there is a next one for sure. And a next one. It's just never... over. And you keep looking for happiness in the material, outside world and in the future, instead of the now.

3 . THE PROBLEM

It’s still your mind
If you are not in a state of being, where you already have let go of your mind, you will still set every intention out of the needs, fears, and wishes of your ego-mind. And this means: Intentions that will be mostly come out of a fear or a lack of something. For instance: I need a better job/relationship/apartment otherwise I can’t be happy (Happiness depends on your job? What if you lose the new job? Or it doesn’t make you happy?) Or: I need more money so that I can be safe. (Are only rich people safe? How much money makes you feel safe? What does “being safe” even mean? etc.).

And maybe, when you reached your goal, you will have again another goal that you want to achieve. So it’s just never.. over. You will keep looking for happiness in the material, outside world, and the past or the future! 

Our ego-mind is made out of conditionings, values, believes and strategies. Those things are defined mostly by the outside world and are very fragile and unstable. One day you might think one thing and short time later, someone gives you new information and you think completely different. If our ego-mind runs our body (where our emotions lie) our emotions are just as unstable. And sometimes you even have believes and values that are contradicting each other. For example the value of freedom and safety. This is called a „conflict of values“ and there are many methods, especially in NLP, how to overcome these conflicts. I use and like them.

BUT – again.. this is your mind, working on your mind. And it’s a never-ending cycle. You think: „If I solve this problem, then I’m gonna be done for a while“.. but then, oh wonder, the next problem arises.. and the next and the next…

So if my mind is not a good boss, what if I hire someone more stable, unjudgemental, loving, present, fearless and clear? Someone who doesn't care about fame or success but truth?

1 . THE FIRING & HIRING PROCESS

I thought: „Let’s try something new, and let’s be radical with it.“
If my mind is not a good boss.. who could be my next hire?
Well, how Mooji puts it: „What is the part of you, that has always been there, is there right now, and will always be there? The part, that never changes, that has no judgement, that doesn’t need to do anything (but can do everything, if aligned with the moment and truth)?“

Ah, yes, I know that part. I’ve met it in meditations and life, when there was nothing to do. It feels peaceful, calm and clear. It’s the state I’m in, when I’m following the flow, when I’m completely in the moment. There is no „right“ or „wrong“, everything just is. It feels very light and I can see everything that was terrible before with a lot of humor because I feel how my mind was just being a drama queen. Also it’s like a shortcut – with one move, all my problems are gone.. and the best: it’s accessible to me always, even right now.. It’s simply about a clear decision.

But in a world of success and fame, this is extremely counter-intuititve. And there goes my mind:“Whaaat?? No way!!! Without me you will fail! You’ll never be successful! You’ll not be able to earn money with this attitude! You just wanna sit around and do nothing? I want to create, plan, analyze, solve problems, you can’t just take that away from me, THIS IS WHO I AM!!!!“

This is who I am… ?
Luckily another part of my mind (as always, your mind is NOT clear or unilateral) says: „You don’t know if you don’t try. It’s not about firing you but asking you to serve instead of lead. You will be able to create – but in a more healthy way, out of the moment and not for the future. You will worry less and have less to criticize. Try it out for a while, see what happens, and if it’s really so terrible, change direction again.“

So. This is my self-experiment right now: Using my mind to serve me instead of bossing me around. Be more and more often in a state of real presence without judgement, without plans, without strategies. Just sharing and creating honestly out of the moment whatever is to be shared or created. It might take a while to really implement this into my life, I feel so used to this other way. But it’s worth it. I’ll keep you updated.

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